It Is Always About The Children

Slowly, ever so slowly it is getting better. Society is changing at least in one way for the better, society is starting to recognize the needs of the gender variant children*. The schools, children agencies like True Colors and parents have recognized the needs of LGBT children.

Gay, lesbian and transgender kids get parent support
Newcastle Herald
By Alison Branley
Aug 1, 2011

The Federation of P&C Associations has called for further research and strategies to help students who are coming out at an earlier age as gay, lesbian and transgender.

Gosford High P&C tabled a motion that was carried at the federations' state conference at the weekend calling for support for students, staff and parents.

Parent groups have expressed concern at how the issue of students coming out is handled in the classroom and playground.

Even through this is an Australian school systems we are see the same changes here. I am a member of the Safe Schools Coalition, a coalition that is made up of state agencies and commissions, and non-profits. One of the projects that the coalition is working on is a model policy that school district can use to comply with the new gender inclusive anti-discrimination statute. The new policy will make it easier for gender variant or trans-students to come out in school. The coalition also worked to help pass the new anti-bullying statute that tighten up the previous statute. Strong anti-bullying policies is only one part in helping LGBT students, the other parts are school administrations, Boards of Ed, the court system, the police, the parents and most importantly the community, together they can help to change the culture of schools. When I was interning at True Colors, I wrote a paper on changing the culture called “Bullying and the Effects on School Achievement” School administration support can make all the difference when a student comes out as LGBT, the support of the administration is crucial.

Kids challenge gender identity earlier — and get support

Parents and schools are seeing increasing numbers of children, some as young as kindergartners, who are challenging the gender into which they were born.
Seattle Times
By Lornet Turnbull
July 31, 2011

Every few weeks, Aidan Key might get a call: a little boy in school is dressing as a girl — in frilly tops or pink skirts. A girl in first-grade will be returning from a holiday break as a boy.

Public- and private-school administrators and the parents of these kids want guidance navigating such sensitive terrain; they want to help children become comfortable calling a classmate by a new name, or know how and when to refer to another student as he or she.

There was a time when these calls were almost exclusively about middle- and high-school kids. But increasingly they involve children as young as kindergartners — 5- and 6-year-olds who don't believe their bodies match who they feel they are inside.
[…]
And over the last decade or so, the parents of a growing number of these kids have sought guidance from Seattle Children's hospital, the associate director of psychiatry there said.

Experts say young children have always had these feelings, but only in recent years as society has become more accepting of gender differences have they felt more free to express them.

"A lot of my adult clients had these feelings when they were quite young," said Jana Ekdahl, a Seattle psychotherapist who works with many transgender people.

"But 20, 30, 40 years ago, you didn't know why you were feeling that way, but you knew it was wrong to say anything. You just knew it."
[…]
Fifteen years ago, she said, parents sought help to rid their children of gender-variant behavior. Now, they are more likely to ask for help supporting their children's choices.

And that is what is difference now, parents are more educated about gender variant children. They have seen us on television, the have read about us in the newspaper, the school counselors are more aware gender variant children and the parents are more willing to let their child explore their gender. There are now medical guidelines for gender variant children that help the parent and the therapist to guide the child. Not all boys who want to be girls or girls that want to be boys transition, for some it is a passing phase, but others it is not and it is the job of the therapist and the parents to let the child find their way in a safe environment.

Children now a days, do not have it easier, they just have it different. Adults when they come in their 40s. 50s, and 60s have an entire different set of problems, they might have to deal with being married, having children and their job. While children who transition may have problems with other students, teachers and the school administration. Here in Connecticut, I know of a few elementary students who transitioned, some have had no problems at all because of the support of the administration while others have been going through a nightmare because of the lack of support from the school administration.

*I use the term “gender variant” when talking about children because for some children it is not about being transgender, but more about exploring their gender.

Helping Your Transgender Teen: A Guide for Parents
by Irwin Krieger
Paperback: 86 pages (February 10, 2011) Publisher: Genderwise Press ISBN-10: 069201229X

The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals
by Stephanie A. Brill and Rachel Pepper
Paperback - 200 pages (June 28, 2008) Cleis Press; ISBN-10: 1573443182

If you are concerned about your child’s gender behaviors: A parent’s guide
Children's National Medical Center
111 Michigan Avenue, NW Washington, DC 20010