My Story Part 4

This week’s story is about being “Read” or being “Clocked” which means being identified as transgender. It can have some serious conquests, but other times it can be funny, their expressions can be priceless. The fact that I was identified as transgender in my mind is neutral, it is how they behave afterward that is important.

The first story is about being “read” as I was walking in to a store. This guy opened the door for me and as I walked through you could just see a change in his expression, his jaw just kind of dropped and he just stood there, with a blank look. It is a look that I have gotten to know quite well, the look of when the brain slips out of gear. It is like when you are driving a standard transmission car, you missed the shift into fourth and the transmission just makes that grinding sound as you try to get it in gear. Well the brain does the same thing when you read someone who you thought was a woman or a man but is not. The next story is a case in point.

It was when I had my car repaired after an accident that I had last year and I had to take it to an auto body shop. As I was talking to the owner, he was standing about two - three feet from me and all of a sudden his eye opened a little wider and he takes a step backwards while he was talking. However, after we were talking for a while the gap closed to normal social distance and he was relaxed again. He had over come his initial shock of reading me and he made a subconscious decision that I was OK.

The same thing happened when the family went out to eat a lobster bake at my cousin’s son’s restaurant. I was talking to a women that is a friend of my cousin and we knew each other since the sixties when my cousin got married. She was sitting next to me, we were talking about my cousins and she turned to me and asked how long I had known my cousins. I replied all my life that he is my cousin and she replied that she thought my cousin only had two cousins; she named my brother and me. I said I was Don… That blank stare came over her face as she tried to comprehend what I had just said. She replied… “Oh, OK” and she just continued in with our conversation.

The forth story was not so nice; I was at a fast food restaurant near my home. As I was waiting in line, the kids working in back spied me and read that I was transgender. They started to come out from the back of the restaurant and giggling. One boy walked by holding his wrist limp and swaying his butt, giggling. I spoke to the manager at the counter and his reply was, “They are only high school students, what do you expect?” my answers was, “They are also your employees.” However, I didn’t press it any further.

Another time when I was at a neighborhood grocery store, the person who was bagging groceries looked at me and said, “What the hell are you?” he then walked away and started bagging another check-out line. The checkout clerk apologized while bagging my groceries; she was embarrassed by his behavior.

These are many examples of what trans-people go through everyday, but it could be a lot worst. We could be beaten or killed if someone found out that you’re transgender. Every year we remember those who were killed because they were transgender; on November 20, the Transgender Day of Remembrance is held.