Is My Marriage Gay?
New York Times
By JENNIFER FINNEY BOYLAN
Published: May 11, 2009
Belgrade Lakes, Me.
AS many Americans know, last week Gov. John Baldacci of Maine signed a law that made this state the fifth in the nation to legalize gay marriage. It’s worth pointing out, however, that there were some legal same-sex marriages in Maine already, just as there probably are in all 50 states. These are marriages in which at least one member of the couple has changed genders since the wedding.
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Deirdre Finney and I were wed in 1988 at the National Cathedral in Washington. In 2000, I started the long and complex process of changing from male to female. Deedie stood by me, deciding that her life was better with me than without me. Maybe she was crazy for doing so; lots of people have generously offered her this unsolicited opinion over the years. But what she would tell you, were you to ask, is that the things that she loved in me have mostly remained the same, and that our marriage, in the end, is about a lot more than what genders we are, or were.
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I’ve been legally female since 2002, although the definition of what makes someone “legally” male or female is part of what makes this issue so unwieldy. How do we define legal gender? By chromosomes? By genitalia? By spirit? By whether one asks directions when lost?
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For our part, Deirdre and I remain legally married, even though we’re both legally female. If we had divorced last month, before Governor Baldacci’s signature, I would have been allowed on the following day to marry a man only. There are states, however, that do not recognize sex changes. If I were to attempt to remarry in Ohio, for instance, I would be allowed to wed a woman only.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Is My Marriage Gay?
There were some same-sex marriages in the state of Connecticut even before Civil Unions and the Supreme Court ruling and their marriages were legal. I know of several couples who were married before one of them transitioned and they stayed married after they had their gender changed on their birth certificate changed. Consider…
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Another example of the insanity of leaving this sort of thing to state legislatures. This should be covered by Federal law. We're talking fundamental Human Rights here.
ReplyDeleteI'd certainly look on this issue as a test of President Obama's HR credentials.
We have almost the same silly mess here in the UK, but word is that it will be addressed soon.
At the moment, I am married to E. When I transition, I can not get my new gender officially recognised UNLESS I divorce E and then "re-marry" her in a civil partnership.
W-T-F???
Was this little piece of nonsense inserted by by our present Stalinist, oh-so secular government in order to break down the religious basis of marriage?
Or was it insisted on by the church? I doubt it. I can't see this governent being influenced by the estbalished church.
And it's next to impossible to get a straight answer out of the poeple who helped draw up the legisation.
Daft...
chrissie
xxxx
I read this yesterday. Very illuminating.
ReplyDeleteWhen my wife divorced me, I was legally female. The way the judge stated it "I declare that Mrs H--- and Ms H--- are legally divorced. This was well before same sex marriage was "legal" in Connecticut. Things between my Ex and I were not quite so rosy as thing seem with the Boylens.
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