Monday, August 19, 2013

Kids Say The Darndest Things

Out in California the conservatives are going crazy over the new legislation to integrate trans-students into the general school population. In California they passed non-discrimination laws to protect gender identity and expression back in 2003 and the schools already had gender identity and expression policies in place when the current law was passed. In addition, the U.S. Departments of Justice and Education have taken the stance that not letting trans-students live and use the facilities of their gender identity violates both Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 and Title IV of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Therefore, the new California law just clarifies the existing laws.

If you look at all the other states with gender identity inclusive non-discrimination laws, it is not the students that have a problem with trans-students but the parents. In Maine it was a custodial grandparent who stirred up the hornet’s nest; the students were OK until the grandparent told his grandson to go into the girls’ bathroom.

In an article in the Huffington Post Gay Voices by Beth Kohm  she said,
About six months ago my 6-year-old, Joshua, walked into our room while my husband Bob and I were watching a show in which the word "transgender" came up. He asked, "Mom, what is 'transgender'?" For a moment I hesitated over how to respond. In my work persona, I still worry that I might use the wrong pronouns or just generally not get it right on trans issues and unintentionally hurt some great people. Should I quote the American Academy of Pediatrics research? Should I cite resources from PFLAG and Gender Spectrum?

I took a deep breath, and my mommy persona took over; I always try to answer questions from my sons as honestly and age-appropriately as I can. I simply explained as best as I could what being transgender is, but I also said that it's a very complicated topic that sometimes even grownups struggle with. Joshua thought about it for a moment and then issued his surprising response: "No, it isn't, Mom. It is just like my Lego Ninjagos when I put the male heads on the female bodies. No biggie. Can I have a cookie?" The whole exchange took three minutes.
How kids react is a reflection of how the parents react. If the parents run around screaming like a chicken with its head cutoff, the kids will react the same way. If the parents handle telling a child about a trans-student the way the Kohms’ reacted then the child will mirror that reaction, it would not be an issue. The author goes on to write,
He left to get his cookie, and I sat there in amused reflection. We all quickly learn that our kids model our responses; if you make an issue out of something, then they will too. In this case, I can't help but think that adults should start learning from kids. For Joshua it was not a big deal. He figured out gender identity in his kindergartener brain using Legos.
It is too bad that the legislators can’t figure that out in their own kindergartener brains.

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