“My Story” Part 1

The other night I went to see a theater by Scott Turner Schofield called “127 Way to Become a Man” at Real Art Ways. In the theater, he displays a wheel with each spoke numbered and with a gender trait like “feminine” or “transgender” or “butch.” The audience calls out a number like 34 which could be a “feminine butch” and then he does a skit based on the attributes. So when some one called out “man, man” and he told a short about how he went around asking men how to be a man and Scott said this is what he found out on how to be a man… He picks up a can a beer and starts to chug the beer and when he finishes the beer lets out a loud belch.

So this got me to thinking… I have a hundred stories about my transition that I can tell, so I am going to start a new series called “My Story.” Without further ado, this is my story…

When I was told that, the factory was closing down and I will be laid off at the end of the month, I started to make plans to transition. First, I needed to pick my middle name, I wanted to use Rae because I liked the name and it had the same initial as my old middle name, but that was my sister-in-law’s middle name. Therefore, one day up at the cottage, I called a family council to help me pick out my middle. After we talked for awhile I decided to add a suffix to my middle name to feminize it. I choose a family council because I want to get my family to have an active part in my transition by picking my middle name. The week before my lay-off, I went down to the local Probate Court office to fill out the paperwork and set a day for my hearing. Since I was being laid-off on Friday June 30, I chose the following Monday July 2.

On Monday, I went to court. My hearing was the first one that morning as I was called in by the clerk I didn’t know what to expect. I thought I might be the first trans-person that the judge ever met. We made some small talk first and then he said that my name changed looked in order and he signed my court order. However, what threw me for a loop is what he said next… He asked me if I had chosen a surgeon yet and most of the girls in the past have gone to Montréal??? “Most of the girls???” I wasn’t the first nor the second from my small town, but one of many? Where were they all?

Now you have to realize that in Connecticut the Probate Courts are small local courts. My court covers my town of about 15,000 and the small neighboring city of about 30,000 to 40,000. I know of one other trans-person in my town and three or four in the city, but they have not changed their names yet. Therefore, it took me by surprise when the judge made the comment.

That was two years ago. It is one of my memories of my transition, some of them good and some of them bad that will always be etched in my memories when ever I think back.

Update 9/25/09
I just came across this video of Scott Turner Schofield show...