Saturday 9: That's What Friends Are For

Crazy Sam’s Saturday 9: That's What Friends Are For (1985)

Every Saturday I take time off from written on serious topics to have some fun…

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This week's song is performed by an all-star quartet: Dionne Warwick, Elton John, Gladys Knight and Stevie Wonder. You have your choice: which of these four would you most like to see in concert?
Elton John, runner up Stevie Wonder.

2) Dionne Warwick was Whitney Houston's cousin. Name a Whitney Houston song.
Um… I don’t know any off the top of my head so I had to google her, “I will Always Love You.”

3) Gladys Knight owns a chain of chicken and waffle restaurants around Atlanta. When you have waffles, what do you top them with? (Powdered sugar? Butter? Syrup? Fruit?)
When I used to eat waffles I liked peaches and cream on them.

4) Elton John has turned his bad eyesight into a hobby, claiming that over the years he has purchased well over than 200,000 pairs of glasses. Do you wear glasses? If so, how many prescription pairs do you own?
I have only one set of glasses; I keep my old pair in the car.

5) Stevie Wonder has a scar on his nose from a 1973 car crash. Have you ever been in a car accident?
Yes, so many times that I lost track of them. My current Prius was hit when I only had 197 miles on it; a hit-and-run drunk hit my car and seven other cars as he drove down the street.

6) Burt Bacharach and Carole Bayer Sager were married when they wrote this. Do you know a husband and wife who work together? 
I don’t think so, I used to but one left the company and went working on his own.

7) This song celebrates friendship through good times and bad. Tell us about a happy time you recently shared with someone close to you.
When I received feedback from a Multicultural Education class that I taught, I shared it with my brother and now I will share one with you…

            I truly enjoyed Diana’s lecture this week and I know that many others in the class agree!

            One thing that stood out to me was the discussion of microaggressions.  We had just learned about microaggressions in our previous class! I think that hearing Diana’s perspective enhanced my understanding of microaggressions.  Many of the questions that she said never to ask or say are things that I could easily see well-meaning people saying unwittingly.  For example, “have you hadthe surgery?” “I would have never known you were a male!” “Which bathroom do you use?” “What was your real name?” and “When did you decide to become a woman?” are all things that I can imagine people would say if they were trying to be kind or genuinely trying to understand her experience.  I’m glad that I’ve been taught to be more sensitive about these types of matters and now I can see why it’s actually very rude to say any of these things.

            It is a brave decision to be “out” because, as Diana said, you are in a position where you are always the example and always need to be a role model.  Chances are that you might be one of the only people like you that a lot of people have known and that puts a lot of pressure on a person to always do the right thing to prevent stereotypes.  It’s as if the pressure isn’t over even after you transition…even though a lot of the negative thoughts go away (suicidal thoughts, drug/alcohol abuse, cutting, etc. all go down after transition), there’s still a lot of pressure on you for the rest of your life.  You live in fear of being discovered or you live your life carefully because you know you’re an “example.”  It’s hard to tell which choice is the better choice.  I wonder what choice I would make if in that situation! One thing’s for sure, these people have faced more challenges than I have in my life and they are unfathomably brave, no matter what they choose.

Later on the professor sent me another email…

I did an activity yesterday in my UConn class. It was a simulation in which the 20 students were required to look at 17 resumes and hire seven teachers unanimously.  Each brief resume has a loaded statement, such as one person along to a military militia group, another was a professed segregationist, another had 10 kids, etc. One of the potential people to hire was a transgender teacher FTM. in the past when I did this activity it was usually early on in the course and rarely, if ever do the students choose to hire this person. Often the reason is that there are other candidates better suited. In yesterday's class all four groups unanimously hired the transgender teacher. This was a first. my role is to challenge them on why they hired or did not hire each candidate. The students were uniformly saying that this person is well-qualified.

 You are making a difference.

8) Now share a time when you were there for a friend through a tough time.
A homeless friend need a place to stay while she had surgery.

9) Random question: When is the last time you were out of breath?
This morning getting out of bed.