Anyone who is trans or an ally to the community knows this typical of so many trans children,
Hopefully, “Respectfully Disrespected” parents will realize the love and acceptance is more important than their dreams for their son.
Transgender teen struggles with parents’ reactionAnd her response was…
Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy
Detroit Free Press
October 5, 2015
Dear Amy: I am a 19-year-old transgender female. I am in an excellent life position — I have a high school diploma, a good part-time job and I am on track to get my associate degree. But I would gladly throw all of it away in order to just be me 100% of the time.
While I have not been forced out of my parents’ house or denied their support, they’ve always supported their “son,” not me.
[…]
Caitlyn Jenner (the only famous transgender person they focus on) has openly said she regrets that she didn’t transition sooner. I want to tell them how much they’ve inadvertently hurt me. I don’t want to hurt them, but at the same time I want to just scream at how they’re being such jerks and tell them to take their dreams and chuck them out of the window because reality is never perfect.
Dear Disrespected: It’s called “transition” for a reason. You are making a transition, but you are moving from a feeling of inner alienation toward a feeling of completeness.If you look at the data, one of the leading factors in a positive transition is family support; drug use, alcoholism, suicidal ideations, and self-harm are all reduced. The homeless shelters are full with LGBT people who were thrown out or ran away from home.
For your parents, the transition is going in the opposite direction, from the son they raised and thought they knew intimately, toward the daughter they are still getting to know. While you are feeling ever more whole, they are feeling more alienated.
Some of what you are experiencing is unique to your situation, but this dynamic is also more typical parent-teen tension, expressed in inappropriate ways.
[…]
It doesn’t seem fair, but to some extent you will have to reject their ignorance or inappropriateness while still reassuring them that the person you are becoming will always love the parents they are, complete with their flaws and misapprehensions. Please keep talking. Gentleness toward them might inspire gentleness from them.
Hopefully, “Respectfully Disrespected” parents will realize the love and acceptance is more important than their dreams for their son.
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