Being “Out”

There are several meanings in the GLBT community for the meaning of “Out”. There is being “Out” to family and friends, being “Out” in public or being “Out” at work. It may mean showing up at a family function with your partner, it may mean walking down the street or sitting in a restaurant holding your partners hand. There is the intentional telling someone that you are gay or lesbian or bi or trans. Then there is the unintentional “Outing” when someone you know sees you with your partner.

In the Trans community being “Out” has a broader definition, when I am “Out” I could be just walking down the street or eating in a restaurant by myself. Everything I do in public people know I am Trans; if I am pumping gas, I am “Out”; if I walk into a mall, I am “Out” as soon as I step out of my front door I am “Out”

If I decide to be “Out” at work, they call an “all employees meeting”, they try to figure out what bathroom I should use, they try to figure out what pronoun to use, they try to figure out how I should live my life at work.

I have a friend who is planning on transitioning* early next year and we were talking about what she is planning on doing at work. What it will be like the first day on the job. To walk in the door and sit at her desk. What will it be like attending her first meeting, when all the men are sitting around the table. We were talking not talking about what it will feel like coming to work in a dress, but what it will be like facing all of her friends she has known for the last fifteen years. She is lucky in one respect, she works for a larger multinational corporation and they have a non-discrimination policy that includes gender. Also she will not be the first to transition there; another has done it in a different division.

I was reading a blog by a gay man who was writing about the transsexual that he had met and he said they all seem to two things in common. 1. They are incredibly courageous. 2. They are deeply empathetic. I would have to agree with him.


*transition – the process of changing one’s gender. The standard of medical care that governs the treatment of Gender Identity Disorder (GID) requires a person to live in the desired gender for at least twelve months before surgery. It is also the process of changing your legal documentation (i.e. name change, new driver license, credit cards, etc.)