“I couldn’t even tell you were born male!”

That is the opening line from an article on how cisgender people can support trans people who do not “pass.” For me I heard the line one time when I was on a panel after the movie Gen Silent and this woman came up to me after the panel discussion and told me that, I wanted to head slap her and ask her weren’t you listening for the last half hours?

5 Ways to Support Trans People Who Don’t “Pass” for Cis
Black Girl Dangerous
Posted on August 6, 2015 by editors
By Princess Harmony Rodriguez

1. Stop measuring trans people’s value as humans according to how well we “pass”…If you want to support trans people, particularly trans people who don’t pass, it’s cis people’s duty to call out those jokes and educate people on why they’re not okay. Using “passing” as a means to invalidate trans people’s experiences when they can’t pass is a form of violence. Don’t do it.

2. Recognize that a trans person’s gender is not determined by their ability to pass…First, this sort of conditional respect is violence. Whether someone is trans or not, extending them respect of who they are on an arbitrary basis and then rescinding it is emotionally abusive. Secondly, people’s physical appearance does not determine their gender. Not much more really needs to be said. Whether a person is trans or cis, how they look doesn’t determine who or what they are.

3. Stop using white patriarchal standards of beauty to measure our appearance, whether we pass or not…While there’s nothing wrong with conforming to its standards, because in a war zone camouflage can save your life, there is no benefit for trans people who don’t pass to be viewed through that lens, and it can often make things worse for them.

4. View “trans glamour” with a critical eye and acknowledge passing privilege as trans people who do passWhile trans glamour is a revolutionary act, because we are claiming our appearance for ourselves and by ourselves…

5. Boost the voices of non-passing trans people in trans dialoguesTrans community dialogues are usually dominated by (white) trans people who can pass. Trans people who can’t pass are often ignored and erased in the mad dash to have these sorts of dialogues.

I think for allies the most important thing you can do is speak up, as #1 says “call out those jokes and educate people on why they’re not okay.” When we speak up about injustice we have an axe to grind but when an ally speaks up it is because they see the injustice.