“Thou Shall Not Out Somebody!”
I make it a habit of not outing anyone even through that are very out in the community. It can have a very serious consequences, including loss of family, job, and life.
Oregon LiveBy Anna BeahmNovember 8, 2023Friday’s apparent suicide of F.L. “Bubba” Copeland, the mayor of Smiths Station, Alabama, and a pastor at First Baptist Church Phenix City, came just days after conservative Southern news site 1819 News published photos of him in women’s clothing and makeup, alongside allegations of sharing explicit content online without consent. The pastor and community leader, who was described as an active member of the community in social media posts from people in the small Alabama community that knew him, is just one story among dozens of public figures being publicly outed shortly before they took their own lives. As the community grapples with this devastating loss, questions arise about the impacts of revealing an individual’s private life without their consent and the potentially fatal consequences…[…]In a 2014 report by the National LGBTQ Task Force, the narratives of several prominent transgender individuals are outlined, shedding light on the devastating consequences of being publicly outed before tragically taking their own lives.
As one person put it, “There is Out and then there is OUT!” We must respect a person privacy and that even goes for outing well known legislators no matter how much glee we get out of seeing them outed, it is still being “outed.” Does the ends justify the means? I don’t think so.
One of the real consequences queer youth face after being outed to their families is homelessness. LGBTQ+ youth experience a 120% higher risk of becoming homeless after coming out to their families, and are twice as likely to experience homelessness at some point in their lives, according to 2018 data from the National Conference of State Legislatures.
For adults it could result in loss of family and job.
And it’s not just about public officials, celebrities have felt the fallout of getting outed involuntarily. For instance, Hot 97’s DJ Mister Cee, who hit tabloids in 2011 over reports he has relationships with transgender women, told GQ being publicly outed made him feel “like an actual dead person.” More recently, actors like Tyler James Williams and Rebel Wilson have spoken publicly about the dangers of public outing after their own experiences with being pressured to declare their sexual identity. While neither experienced major loss or physical harm, both took the opportunity to address how serious public outing can be.
I was outed.
When I retired one of my fellow employees that I worked along side for over 25 years outed me the minute I walked out the door, he couldn’t wait to spread the juicy news.
My blog had a huge spike of hits from the company domain! Whoa! Then the emails started coming in dozens and dozens of them. One even came from a technician who is a Jehovah Witness!
You know what? They were all positive! Even the email from my Jehovah Witness technician. And the person who outed me became somewhat of a piranha. They didn’t like what he did, sent a general broadcast to all company email addresses. And no one was pleased with him after that.
Don’t even think twice before outing someone… JUST DON’T DO IT!
A mayor was outed as a crossdresser.
An Alabama mayor ended his life after a website showed pictures of him cross-dressing
NPR
By Juliana KimNovember 7, 2023
F.L. "Bubba" Copeland wore many hats in the small city of Smiths Station in east Alabama. He was the mayor, a pastor and the owner of a local grocery store. He was also a husband and father.
But in the days before Copeland took his life, the 49-year-old was revealed to have another identity — this time, of a man who liked to dress up as a woman and write erotic fiction.
On Wednesday, 1819 News, a website previously owned by the conservative Alabama Policy Institute, wrote that Copeland used a string of social media accounts under a pseudonym. The outlet also included several photos of Copeland in women's clothing and makeup that the site said were posted under the accounts.Two days later, Copeland killed himself, the Lee County Sheriff's Office said.
Never, never ever out somebody!
One of the consequences that will arise from the reporting on Copeland will be keeping more men and women in the closet; or a bare minimum guard "the secret" more closely. I remember a local incident that occurred in my community in the late 1970's. A cross dresser, who apparently must have been experiencing much stress, took his life. He set his home on fire and when the fire department arrived he held it at bay with gunfire. The reporter just had to write up the incident by writing the man's charred remains were found with his high heels still strapped on his feet. To this day I remember his name. For someone like me who is in his 70's; having been a government employee and a church elder, why would I "out" myself. The fear can be paralyzing.
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