Friday, November 17, 2023

A Blue State Right Next Door!

Yup, it is Massachusetts and it made the news last month.
Massachusetts ranked one of top states for LGBTQ+ retirees
Fifty Plus Advocate
By Colin McCandless
October 16, 2023


October marks the start of LGBT History Month, a time to honor and recognize the achievements of LGBT icons, and Massachusetts has cause to celebrate its own progressive accolade this year after being named the fourth best state in the country for LGBTQ+ retirees.

The 2023 report rankings, published in Retirement Living, examined various factors such as local laws, percentage of the population over 65, percentage of the population that identify as LGBTQ+, average home costs and cost of living.

[…]

What is clear is that in Massachusetts, LGBTQ+ retirees have strong advocates striving to make the state a safe and positive place to grow older. The LGBTQIA+ Aging Project, part of Fenway Institute at Fenway Health in Boston, helps elder care services work toward improving inclusivity for LGBTQIA+ older adults. They collaborate with senior centers to consult on best practices for program planning and outreach engagement to help create welcoming and inclusive programming for LGBTQIA+ older adults. The Aging Project also champions and promotes elder care policy changes that benefit LGBTQIA+ older adults.

“Massachusetts is one of the best states for LGBTQIA+ retirees, based on providing resources and services for LGBTQIA+ older adults,” said Aging Project Director Lisa Krinsky.
Connecticut is not that far behind, while we don't have a LGBTQIA+ Aging Projrct we do have a legislative LGBTQ+ advisory committee (LGBTQ+ Justice & Opportunity Network Legislative). We have the support of the governor and the legislation.


 
Coming out is hard! I think that it is the hardest think that you do in your life!

For some they wait until later in life… because of fear.
Barry Manilow on reason he didn’t come out publicly as gay until his 70s
Legendary singer Barry Manilow has explained why he didn’t publicly come out as gay until his 70s, claiming being out when he was younger would have “killed a career”.
Pink News
By Emily Chudy
November 14, 2023


Manilow, famous for hits like “Mandy”, “Copacabana” and “Looks Like We Made It”, married his manager Garry Kief in 2014, after being together for 40 years.

The 80-year-old entertainer, who has won Grammys, an Emmy and a Special Tony Award, then came out as gay in a 2017 interview with People magazine, telling the outlet that the public’s reaction to rumours about his sexuality was “so beautiful”.
There are those who would criticize him for worrying about his career but I think that it is a valid reason to wait. Waiting for the children grow up, waiting for your parents to pass away, waiting to have a job. I think they are all valid reasons, I think any reason is valid even “I was too scared to come out.” You have to feel safe and secure before coming out.
Speaking about his husband, Manilow explained: “Garry actually kind of saved my life because as my career exploded, it was crazy. Going back to an empty hotel room you can get into a lot of trouble if you are all alone night after night.

“I met Garry right around when it was exploding and I didn’t have to go back to those empty hotel rooms and I had someone to cry with and celebrate with.”

In a 2017 interview with Sharon Osbourne about his decision to come out, Barry Manilow remarked to the cheering crowd: “Times have changed, to get a reaction like that!”
Before I came out I believed the propaganda, that gays and lesbians jumped for one bed to another and they didn’t want a long term relationship. But I was amazed that some were in 20… 30… even 40 year relationships!



Sadly I have also seen relationships be torn apart when a spouse came out. It is very, very hard on the spouse when we come out.

I have seen couples divorce.

I have seen couples bond get stronger.

I have seen couples divorce and then get back together again.

I always say, prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

My advice see a marriage councilor and don’t burn your bridges because you never know what the future brings.

***
When I was doing diversity training I talked about a couple that I know and the story the wife told was she liked to sleep on a train on her husband's shoulder. But once she transitioned the wife would get stares on the train when she did that. The wife missed walking down the street holding hands… now they get harassed. It took a long time to get over that loss but she did and they stayed together!

I can’t really give advice since I was never married, but… I always hope for the best. A couple that I know are going through this and I wish them the best for both of them.

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