One time I was doing a workshop with a lesbian who said that she “gets it” and is supportive of trans people. Then later in the workshop she said “that she won’t date a trans women” when pressed by some in the audience she said it was because her friends would not understand. Loving a trans person is hard.
Loving a Transgender Person IS a Revolutionary ActIt takes a lot to be a friend with a trans person, all your friends will wonder why you are hanging out with “one of those people” our transness rubs off on them. Guilty by association.
By Brynn Tannehill
February 02, 2016
Being transgender is seen as so vile that our partners, parents and children often reject us. We learn that love isn’t unconditional, that in fact we cannot be loved by the people who mean the most to us. We are sent the message over and over again, that no one could love us as romantic partners. Life holds only a promise of loneliness and abandonment, and that we deserve solitude for refusing to remain in the closet.
In the face of such unremitting and remorseless pressure to despair, we dream of simply being loved by anyone, even if it is only in the internal security of believing a higher power does so. Yet, even that simple hope is often asking too much. In response, we do not dry up, fester, sag, crust over or explode.
Being loved requires friends, partners and family to embrace a belief that runs against our cultural dogma, act despite the stigma of being seen with “those people”, and embrace an unpopular people that are not their own.The woman that I was dating broke off the relationship and I don’t really know why, but it was right after we went out to dinner with some of my trans friends; did she find it hard to be with us because of the looks we were getting from the other patrons in the restaurant? I don’t know. But I do know that for some it is very hard to be seen out in public with a trans person.
This is why loving a transgender person is a truly revolutionary act.