Have you ever run into this?
The article goes on to list questions that should never be asked and comebacks when they are asked.
Questions Trans People Face _ and Their AnswersI have had people ask questions that they would never ask anyone else. Like Joy Landin I answer many questions in a classroom that should never be asked in public or by a stranger. I usually don’t have a fancy comeback back but stare at them instead, that is usually enough to embarrass them.
ABC News
By LEANNE ITALIE Associated Press
Jun 24, 2014
At a party, in a checkout line or out to dinner, transgender model Arisce Wanzer has this to say about routine, uncomfortable questions from strangers and acquaintances:
"Why are you jumpin' into my underwear from the get-go?"
We asked Wanzer, 27, in Los Angeles and two other trans people — Janet Mock, 31, and Joy Ladin, 53, to share how they handle chance, intrusive encounters.
"As an educator, I believe it's really important for people to ask questions, but at the same time I'm a person and not a public billboard," said Ladin, an English professor at Yeshiva University in New York and author of "Through the Door of Life: A Jewish Journey between Genders.”
The article goes on to list questions that should never be asked and comebacks when they are asked.
WHAT WAS YOUR NAME BEFORE?I’m at a point that I don’t answer that question when I do outreach; one, it makes me uncomfortable and two, it does not have any bearing to the outreach. I usually redirect the questions saying something like “that makes me uncomfortable and it is not who I am anymore.”
Mock: I usually challenge people by asking questions back. Just saying something like, 'I don't know why that's relevant to our interaction with one another? Why is that important for you to know?' They usually don't have an answer and realize how insensitive it was.
It would seem to me that any curiosity, taken in the spirit given, could be an opportunity to share more of our story. It’s obvious that something sparked that curiosity. What would be the question that should be asked of you when it’s presented that you have something you’d like to share?
ReplyDeleteFirst it would depend on upon the location... standing in line at a checkout counter is not the place to do Trans101.
ReplyDeleteSatisfyingly curiosity is not teaching, telling them the process for name change is teaching. I would never tell them "No, I don't want to answer that." But rather redirect the question and answer how I picked my name and how I had my family pick my middle name instead.
Another way of answering that question is to say something like "For many trans-people just saying their birth name is stressful for them, it might bring back unpleasant memories." That is also teaching and not just satisfying curiosity.