Monday, January 27, 2014


There is a discussion on a forum about someone who detransitioned; one person who was involved with “her” when she transitioned felt betrayed because he didn’t tell her that he was going back to his birth gender.

I have known one person who detransitioned and I understand the pressure that “she” was going through. “She” was still married to her wife and they were under tremendous financial pressure so they decided to move back to her folks in the Bible belt. He detransitioned so that they could live with her folks.

They both had opened their hearts to the community taking in all the strays under their wings, helping them along in their quest to find themselves. They were the first people that I felt comfortable to talk to about how I was in turmoil.

The talk started immediately in the trans-community when the word spread about his detransition; that “he” wasn’t really trans, he is giving the community a bad name, and so on. But I always said that you can never know what he was going through, the pressure that they faced, and the decisions they had to make. There are many reasons why a person might detransition and only one of them is not being trans. There is family pressure, religious pressure, economic pressure, social pressure and the list is endless.

The person on the forum who was hurt because she was told in person should remember that the other person probably felt a lot of guilt over detransitioning, probably just as much or if not more then he felt as when he transitioned.

I see the person that I know every once in awhile, after his wife died he moved back east and is active in the LGBT community, he does volunteer work at a LGBT health clinic.

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