Friday, August 30, 2013

Everyone Lets Sing Kumbaya Together

I think it was the second time that I went to Fantasia Fair when we went up a day early and were there for the last weekend of “Women’s Week” in Provincetown. We (three or four of us) were sitting around in the living room of the B&B having wine and cheese that the owners put out at five every afternoon when we were joined by a group of lesbians.

We sat staring at one another for an awkward few minutes, kind of like when you get into an elevator with strangers. I don’t remember how the topic came up but someone mentioned that LG have nothing in common with T and I said we both come “out” and started telling my coming out story. Several bottles of wine later we all found more common interests, we were no longer sitting with “them” on one side of the room and “us” on the other side of the room but were commingled.

There has been a number of blogs recently that I have read with “us” against “them” theme and I don’t think that is truly true. Are there gays and lesbians who hate us? Most definitely, but there are many others who do not. I believe that there is “Gay Inc.” and “Radical Fems” that hate us, but I also believe that they are small in numbers compared to the total LG population and they are very vocal.

I have been to lesbian dances and private parties where I was totally accepted. I have been to gay events where we all got along. I have both gay and lesbian friends and I have gone to a lesbian bridal shower and also I have attended events with gay friends.

I also know that gay and lesbian organizations put their interest before ours and that most of their funding comes from “Gay Inc.” and once they get marriage equality all their $25 and $50 donations dry up. I understand it, but I don’t like it. People tend to give money to causes that directly affect them and that is human nature. I also recognize that organizations like the HRC are run by “Gay Inc.” and their primary interest is “Gay Rights” not trans-rights and that they only give us lip service.

After Connecticut got marriage equality I was going to “Town Hall Meetings” with the organization that worked to pass the marriage legislation and I talked about trans-equality my story moved a number of gays and lesbians to donation. However, the vast majority of their small donors stopped giving, not because they hated us but because it was no longer in their self-interest.

When I was going to class for community organizing we learned how to motivate people and the two ways were appeal to their self-interest and through their emotions. When I talked at the meetings I appealed to their emotions and they gave, but for all those gays and lesbians who didn’t attend there was no way to appeal to their emotions or to their self-interest and the funding stopped.

I don’t think that the vast majority of gays and lesbians hate us, I think just like most people they don’t understand us.

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